Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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