doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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