New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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