they need to just BURY HIM!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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