i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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