the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
