I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
