i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
