For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
