I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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