when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
17 year olds will be the death of me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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