she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
