True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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