pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize