can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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