bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
ok first of all what the fuck
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize