Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
