The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
