FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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