if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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