I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
