and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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