Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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