this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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