I think my fart just growled at me.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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