So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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