i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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