hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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