how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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