Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I love having hate sex.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
