I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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