She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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