I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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