Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
