real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
where am i from again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
