Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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