please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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