i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
