I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
