This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You are the jesus of drinking
Dicks are not precious.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
