i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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