The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
