one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize