When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
