So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
