You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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