Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
