I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
