I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize