i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
