Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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