Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
