rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
