Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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