its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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