From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
