well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
