They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
