this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
