you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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