i need an iv and a liver transplant
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
either way he was missing a nipple.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
