she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
