you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
