8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
