his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize